Friday, February 6, 2015

General Update

1. Deactivated Facebook for the month. Most of you are aware, I'm sure, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this blog at all.

2. Really goddamn lonely. It's been nearly a year since I last talked to Preston, and a good two years since I was able to comfortably talk to him like I needed to be able to talk to my best friend and second half. Having that space be EMPTY seriously sucks.
I met a guy last week - a friend of some friends, whom I had really only seen in passing - that I REALLY liked. Started talking online, then did the texting-all-day thing, then met for drinks, hung out some, kept texting.... I had a blast. FINALLY someone who responded properly to my abject silliness. Finally someone with the potential to actually fill that huge gaping void of the last couple of years.
Yeahno. Turns out, he wasn't into me, and I got to figure it out the hard way, as he would just not answer rather than saying no when I would ask about getting together. Yay learning experiences? Ugh.

3. I fixed a thing! I've been using my big break-down camp bed in my bedroom since August, because it has all that lovely space to put stuff underneath it. What I didn't realize was that constant use causes the side rails - the ones with the cleats that hold up the bottom boards? - to bow out. Bow out and drop the bottom boards right off the cleats. Whoops.
Idiot me spent a good two months wrestling boards back onto cleats, and climbing in and out of bed VERY carefully before actually thinking up a decent solution. I bought two c-clamps and a ratchet strap yesterday, and cinched those side rails right tight!! Back to a solid bed, and without having to drill any holes in my bed frame!

4. Kids aren't doing that great. Depressive children with learning disabilities are really difficult for me to effectively manage at the best of times, much less in the dead of winter. None of us have the coping skills. Cumulative spoons are low in these here parts. David continues to get more addled and confused the older he gets. Emily's reading retention is steadily dropping, while her empathy is rising commensurate to the distress level of her friends...which is through the roof. Amber continues to make valiant effort to stay afloat, but she's just a minor crisis away from overwhelmed at any given time. It's rough. Mom should be able to advise, support, HELP somehow. But I just don't know how.

5. Spring cleaning won't wait 'till spring. The house is a disaster, and I've reached that point where I can't work on anything creative without massive guilt. So I'm slowly reviving my Home Routines app and Get Your Act Together book, and working my way through a methodical decluttering of the house. Today is my last day in Zone 1: Back Room and Stairway. All that's left to do in the back room is vacuuming and tile-scrubbing, and then it's all-day laundry to clear out the stairwell.
I have the afore-mentioned guy to thank for this fit of self-consciousness - I stepped foot into his spotless house and experienced some major tidy-space envy. He has a full bank of EMPTY SHELVES in his stairway. A strip of coat hooks with NOTHING on them. No bathroom cabinet, just a tiny, pristine glass shelf with toothpaste, shaving cream, toothbrush, and razor on it. A spare room with just a few things sitting in it. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, even though I know I'll never set foot into the place again. I don't think I could ever hope to get to empty-shelf point, but still.....MUST CLEAR OUT HOUSE.

6. Still hate cooking. My diet sucks. I know I need to get back on the AIP and get my energy back, but that whole hating cooking thing is really putting a crimp in that plan. I'd like to say that I'm easing into it gradually by at least eating sugar, grain, and nightshade-free, but who am I kidding? I have a bad day, and that's exactly where I turn. And I've had some bad days. I'll keep trying, though. And I'll try not to beat myself up too badly when the emotional eating happens.

7. I started getting Reiki from Dawn. So far, SO AWESOME. I *want* to call it mind-blowing and life-changing, but it's way too subtle for that, and I've only had it done once. It might work into that description after repeated sessions. But yeah, it was pretty cool. Reiki is energy-work. Kind of like a hands-on prayer, or a massage without the massage. The coolest part was being able to actually feel which parts of my body were holding onto pain, stress, tension, whatever. Dawn's hands would just heat up in those places. And then she'd move them to another spot and they'd be cool and stay cool. Hands over my heart and solar plexus not only heated up, but I also couldn't keep from crying. The fronts of my knees, she heated up. The backs, nothing. Anyway, it was really cool. I went home, slept soundly, and woke up without that usual awful sluggish "I don't want to do today" feeling. I call that a win. Definitely going to do regular sessions. Maybe even get the kids in on it.

8. Still chugging along on the pottery. I haven't been doing much throwing at home, but hopefully that will change post house-clearout. The studio got 6 new glazes - 4 different whites, a purple, and a new cobalt blue. I'm looking forward to playing around with them all. My tomato mugs sold like hotcakes over Christmas, so I'm still cranking those out when I can. I think I'm ready to drop the red clays for a while and work in gray and white. Get back to my pretty green and fake ash glazes that look so awful on the red.

9. I started Instagramming. Even figured out the whole hashtag thing! Go me! bran_ti if you want to add me.

10. Knitting has stalled. Apparently, picking up stitches along the edge of a piece is a painful bane of my existence. All that's left to do on my cable-yoke hooded sweater is the border....but I have to pick up SO MANY STITCHES and I just haven't. Maybe I'll make myself do that after work tomorrow.
Oh yeah, I'm on Ravelry, too. BranTi. Add me. We can talk.

Well, wish me luck. Surviving 'till spring is the name of the game today.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. I think the internet ate my comment, but just wanted to let you know that I'm reading and rooting for you, friend. *hug*

  2. I remembered this was here. I thought your number was in my phone, and then when you turned off Facebook, I couldn't find it anymore.

    Hope the lonely and kids things get better.